Do you constantly find yourself thinking “I want my ex back“? Then this article is perfect for you. As you learn about the no contact rule you will understand why you are so tempted to stay in touch with your ex — that one individual who got away but you still love.
Similarly, you will learn how this rule works, and why you should following it.
Demystifying the No Contact Rule
This great rule stipulates that exes should remain as exes and refrain from contacting each other. At some point, the two of you were completely and hopelessly in love.
However, you now avoid each other and only greet like distant acquaintances whenever you meet. Although the rule sounds harsh, that is what it is all about.
Why Choose the Rule
So, why should you follow this rule? And what benefits do you stand to gain by choosing such a course of action? Well, every relationship ends in one of two ways — in happy way or in a sad breakup.
If the both of you make a decision to part ways since there is no love or romance, then this is a happy ending.
On the other hand, if you still love your ex and they force a breakup because they are dating other people, or they no longer care for the relationship, then you can be sure that the ending will be sad for you.
This healing only works if the breakup takes on the second scenario. Probably, you must be nursing loneliness and a broken heart — which are further aggravated whenever you meet your ex or see their happy posts on social media.
Following the Rule
One thing to remember is that people who desperately try to remain friends with an ex are probably still in love. Therefore, if you have been having a hard time trying to move on after the breakup, then it is probably because you really want your ex back.
Although you might not necessarily want to date them again, the very fact that you are still hurting proves that you want more love and companionship in your life — and are still fixated on your ex.
However, the longer you continue remaining in touch with an ex, the deeper the feelings of emptiness you will suffer. After all, your ex might agree to be your friend but you know full well that you want more.
To disconnect yourself emotionally from this ruinous relationship, start healing, and find your footing in life, therefore, you will need to start avoiding your ex.
It will also be easier for you to move on if there are no constant reminders of your loneliness manifested in the person who broke your heart.
To this end, you should fight your urges. In most instances, you will find that you are tempted to call your ex or stay in touch with them.
Whenever this happens, resist the temptation. Similarly, you will find yourself looking through their social media profiles to see if they have started dating other people.
This behavior has to stop if you wish to be successful in following the rule.
Why the Rule Works
Are you still not sure that the no contact rule is the most effective way to get over your ex? Then the following reasons will prove you wrong:
1. Moving On
It is impossible to move on if you are still stuck in the same whirlwind that was your messy relationship.
As long as you are around an ex you still love, you will constantly remember how much you would like to renew the relationship.
This will only stop when you decide to step away from the emotionally triggers brought on by your ex. After that, it will be easy for you to find something or someone to fill the emptiness wrecking havoc in your heart.
2. Rekindled Feelings
Whenever you get dumped by an ex you loved, your feelings might not keep pace with the fact that your relationship is no more.
Any time you meet the ex, therefore, you will want to fall in love with them — forgetting that they broke your heart.
Another reason why this rule works so effectively is because it is the only way to heal especially after a messy breakup. The fact that your ex is no longer there to remind you of the pain and heart means that you will have an easy time focusing on healing yourself.
If at all the breakup was initiated by your ex, then you probably have ill feelings about them.
In case you did nothing wrong to warrant the breakup, then you need to understand that your ex is a selfish excuse for a human being.
They treated the relationship like something that was easily disposable and did away with the affection and care you had for them.
When you meet up with them or continue talking, these feelings will constantly be renewed. Although you might try to convince yourself otherwise, it is impossible for you to avoid feeling hurt when your ex is still in your life.
To get rid of the feelings, therefore, you are going to have to forgive your ex.
The only way to do this is by cutting all forms of communication with them. With time, when they represent a distant memory in your past, you will come to forgive them. And once this happens, you will know the beauty of pure bliss and joy that comes with a forgiving heart.
5. Fall in Love
It is impossible to properly fall in love with another person if you are still hanging on to your ex.
Here, the no contact rule comes into play by severing all communication and contact with your ex.
If your ex is still in your life and you hoard feelings of affection for them, you will not feel like dating other people. Instead, you will focus your energies (albeit uselessly) in trying to win them back.
Why stress yourself in this way when you can simply cut them out of your life and move on to better things — like a healthier relationship with someone new? By following the rule, therefore, you will finally be able to get back to a place of emotional stability, start dating, and fall back in love with a better person.